The relatively innocent naif coming out of Central NY
As a relatively innocent naif coming out of Central NY in '68, my eyes and ears (and later my mouth)
was wide-open to the propositions suggested and asserted by others. By
mid-May '70 I finally had the empirical evidence of who was blowing
smoke up-my-ass and into-my-face and able to demarcate my identity as
something with at least an idiosyncratic, if not a unique imperative.
Further years proved a repeated seen it-heard it of the expected and the
monotonous.BUT EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE... It was those oases of the
unique to the thought provoking that kept me from what could be worse
sociopathic or psychopathic ventures, since being in the military
precluded anything more than a comfortable material port of benignity.
Tho' I shared other's cynicism and
skepticism of the Clintons and their ersatz media virtue, and had been
on the left as an anti-authoritarian despite my posturing subordination
to the decorum and discipline of a military careerist; I thought that
maybe the materialistic American Dream of that 'City on a Hill' could be
a reality. Until I TDY'ed near Moreno Valley, CA-outside of March AFB.
It was then that I was reacquainted with the otherside-of-the-tracks for
the working class. The later Dot-com bust, the 9/11 frenzy that led to
Iraq after Afghanistan (on hold) and being out in 'Heartland
Nebraska'-as close to a 'free market' state you'll ever see, exposed me
both to the smug hubris of material success and control, along with the
darker side of people hustling as outlaws to get by. Both ends of that
spectrum had a laissez-faire attitude about ethics, though an ironic
sense of morals and loyalty that had my visceral alarms of disgust going
off.
I was in a relatively insulated, tho' a temp-worker/service worker, when
the housing-bubble crash occurred followed by all the
political-social-public health afflictions that descended on folks who
just needed, as well as wanted a fair deal for their efforts. THAT
WASN'T GOING TO HAPPEN. The self-aggrandizing and the careerist of
mercenary ethics were more numerous and ubiquitous than those found
sucking up to title and status in the ivy halls of my alma mater. And
that's when I realized that my undergrad speculative theses had been
analytically accurate despite the conventionalist reductionism that had
been the social rebuttal to my suggestions and proposals.
NOW social media was in full bloom. But I had ONE BIG PROBLEM: my
thoughts, as articulated, were a direct transcription from the
hard-wiring of my mostly introspective thinking and analysis that had
been influenced by the lexicon of the pedagogical background of that
analysis. So Me, who'd once been described by a present day
Congresswoman and former college classmate, as "So common", was now
being labeled pretentious!
Like any intrepid crab leaving the bucket, I pulled myself out and
realizing that it's not what I share in common with others thinking
that's important, but what can be transactionally shared in deeds that
is defining. Opinion, perspectives are more the f(x) of our backgrounds
that are discretely unique and diverse to have divergent ways and means
beyond our routine and social-cultural milieu.
`That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!'
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